She Has a Husband, but she has feelings for me.
You are probably here because you may be involved romantically with a married woman — or might be soon. Although this is a perilous path to go down, you aren’t the first person to be wondering what to do.
We understand that love isn’t always pretty, and these situations do happen. You’re probably well aware that the situation is less than ideal, and you require some guidance. We’ll help you navigate this difficult situation and get you on the right track.
As a disclaimer, we definitely take no responsibility for what might happen if you are caught or if things go wrong. We don’t condone or encourage this behavior, but it’s better to follow good advice if you’re going down this path.
Dating a Married Woman Is Complicated
We’re sure you’ve already grappled with the morality of the situation, so we’ll skip it. What we want to clear up is the logistics and complications of having an affair.
First and foremost, you need to think about the country where you live. In most Western countries, the issue of adultery is no longer a punishable offense. Having an affair with a married person can’t land you in trouble with the law, except for some very extreme cases.
However, if you’re located in a country with more serious marriage laws, then it could become a matter of legality. What’s even worse is that women are almost always punished more harshly and scorned more than males. While you might get off with a slap on the wrist, the woman will most likely be mistreated, so keep that in mind.
People think that they’re sneaky, but sooner or later, the affair will come to light for one reason or another. After that comes the fallout and the social stigma for all parties involved. Perhaps people close to you won’t talk to you anymore or treat you differently.
More than likely, the marriage will be broken up once everything gets put out in the open. If the woman has children, then maybe you’ll be known as a homewrecker and blamed for years of unhappiness. Just ask yourself if this is something you could live with.
If none of the above bothers you and you understand the risk, then the next section is for you.
Top 3 Things to Consider When Dating a Married Woman
1. Understand the Motives
One thing that needs to be cleared up straight away is what she’s looking for. If she’s going to cheat on her husband, then there must be a good reason.
It could be that she’s in a failing marriage, and this could be one of her outlets. She may have checked-out emotionally from the marriage and has no problems with being a cheating wife.
The other case could be that she’s perfectly content with her marriage but wants to spice things up. She’s definitely not going to leave her husband and the stable life she’s built but is more than willing to have some fun on the side.
Lastly, she could be in love with you and would drop her current guy to marry you. If that’s the case, you need to consider how committed you are to this relationship.
Maybe you’re doing this for the excitement of it, or you’re really in love with this woman. In any scenario, you need to think about her motivations and be clear on your own as well.
If you both let the situation get out of control and you’re not on the same page then things could end up getting messy. If things start to go sour, then the situation can quickly descend into chaos. Remember that you’re dealing with a married woman, and there is a much higher potential for some serious drama.
So you’ll need to figure out or discuss what the relationship is and will be. It might not be easy to talk it out or determine where the relationship is headed but always keep it in mind.
2. Prepare for Instability
Since everything is so secret, you need to get ready for disappointments and fickleness. Remember that this woman has a committed marriage and is probably busy with her family and possible career.
More than likely, you won’t often be meeting, and plans will quickly change. You’ll be ready for time together when suddenly the whole thing is called off.
Almost certainly she’ll have more obligations than you do and will need to take care of them. Maybe her husband is coming home early, or her kid needs to be picked up from somewhere.
You need to be able to deal with the disappointments and take them in stride. If you can’t handle these obstacles, then seeing a married woman may not be for you.
3. Become a Secret Agent
No, you don’t have to be James Bond or belong to the CIA. However, you do need to learn how to be as covert as possible. If you are both serious about trying to keep the entire affair a secret, then it takes a lot of effort to keep it that way.
It might not even need to be said, but there can be absolutely no social media involved. Refrain from taking any photos together or checking in on Facebook or Instagram.
When speaking with anyone, friends included, do not tell them who you’re going to meet or what you’re going to do. We know it’s tempting to tell the people close to you, but you need to refrain because the fewer the people that know, the better.
It’s a no brainer, but you’ll need to meet somewhere far from your usual haunts. It’s best to go where no one will recognize you or your married woman. Of course, there’s always a chance someone will discover you, but you need to keep that chance to a minimum.
To do that, you’ll need to go to a faraway town or a secluded location for your meetups. When you go to hotels, you’ll want to pay in cash and change the location regularly, just to be sure.
If this all sounds a little over-the-top, that’s because it is. Secrecy is the number one goal here, so you’ll need to go above and beyond unless you want to deal with the fallout.
Taking It to the Next Level
If you can get past the many pitfalls of dating a married woman and things are going smoothly, then good job, that’s not an easy task. However, if her husband catches wind or those around you begin to discover the affair, then it will be a lot more trouble than it’s worth.
On the flip side, you need to ask yourself how long it can last and what the next step is. If it’s only for the fun of it, then you’ll probably need to step back at some point. But if you genuinely believe this is the woman for you and she feels the same way, then maybe it was meant to be.
Also an interesting read: 15 Grooming Tips for Men That Women Are Crazy About